The one that's always there, the one that came late, the one that never arrived and the one that wasn't invited

The one that's always there, the one that came late, the one that never arrived and the one that wasnt invited


Futile Feast (2019)

There are two lads, sitting in front of each other

they are having sausages and bacon and eggs

they are wearing construction site clothes, missing a couple of teeth

they are both white and in their late 50’s

they seem to have known each other for a while

one of them is sporting dreadlocks

the other one a gold earring

is 8:15am

they are drinking black coffee

talking about a third lad who is not there now, but apparently, HE did something wrong

said something he shouldn’t have said

did something he shouldn’t have done

the bacon is crunchy, a little burnt in the edges

it makes a light breaking sound with every bite they take


“You have no idea io what you are saying” says suddenly the first one, raising his voice

I might not have it, but neither do you. says the second one

he promised something he couldnt fullfill , he dragged us all with him, he fucked us all

they carry on eating,

their clothes are dusty

their hands, wrinkly

But how was he supposed to know?


they chew on the the sausages, they need to hurry, its time to go

the yolk of the eggs in undercooked, it bleeds all over their plates

In the background of the local greasy spoon the tv is on

they are transmitting in the news:

everybody is wearing suits

somebody mentioned compromise

someone had a breakthrough

the word unconvinced was used

somebody proposed an agreement

somebody said nearly impossible

nobody seemed impressed

a sensible way forward was promised

resolution was in somebody’s mouth

delay seemed to be in the cards

uncertainty was in everyone’s minds

trust was an illusion

disruption is on its way

It’s 3pm

She ‘s half way through a a long shift at the supermarket

they had problems with the tilts all day

So people were queing

She bagged almost every single item that left the shop so far that day

a loaf of bread


2 loose cucumbers


a small pot of double cream


sometimes she fantasises with what people will prepare with the items they take

a pot of custard


half a kilo of mince meat


sometimes she imagines their homes

their jobs, their partners,

a can of beans


a jar of marmite


sometimes she likes to imagine them at the table,

talking about their day

complaining about the people they secretly hate to the people they love the most

a block of cheese


a bag of tea


4 more hours to go

In the cafe they just opened at the end of the street,

next to the fishmongers

they can fix your bike while you drink your latte

they have several magazines on art and design

as well as newspapers that hardly no one reads cause they have better things to do on their laptops

they also have also have cool but cheap furniture with an scandinavian vibe

the place is busy and the coffee machine is loud

A cinnamon roll is £3.50

and the ginger ninja smoothie £5.29

i splurge and get both

I sit down and open a copy of Apartment living magazine that someone carelesly has left on the table

“How to Leave a Party Politely: The Art and Etiquette of the Exit” sits oddly on page 17

- the magazine is from 2016

My mom always told me, - reads the article “It’s best to leave the party while everyone is still having fun.”

how you leave is just as important as when you leave,. the author of the artcicle then proceeds to give some tips and tricks for leaving as graciously as you arrived

On Parties

Don’t leave without saying goodbye.

Don’t leave too soon, even if you’re not having the time of your life.

Don’t make a scene.

On Conversations

Be respectful.

Capitalize on the moment

Make your move

don’t hold people captive.

its 4:45pm,

and they are collecting dishes and putting the chairs on top of the tables

they are making noise and have already switched the music off

there is a couple of us still finishing our coffee , but it desnt matter

I remember the tips from Apartment Living magazine

and pack my bag

its time to make my way home

It’s dark outside

we sit down and we break the bread

and there is beer and there is wine on the table

and also butter for those who like butter with their bread

so I take a piece and I smear the butter

it is warm and toasted

and the butter starts melting and it shines it shines so hard that is almost blinding

and i take a bite

and I can feel it

expanding in my tongue,

warm, soft, salty,

i take a small breath and I swallow

and now is expanding through my throat, descending

with all its warmth , all its softness

and it reaches my stomach, this ball of light

and I shine and i melt just like the butter I’ve just spread on the bread

and shine and melt

and I shine and I melt

i raise my sight and I see that the others sitting at the table are also shinning and melting

shinning and melting

and I dissapear

and we dissapear

and that’s how it ends

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